No exclamation point

Hello Everyone,

I'm back. Did you miss me? I'm trying not to use exclamation marks and here's why. They're overused. I hate false enthusiasm. Happy birthday (!), everyone posts on Facebook. To people they don't really know. I do it all the time. But now I've stopped using the exclamation mark. It's a form of protest. Try this out. "Congratulations on your anniversary." Or, "I'm so sorry that happened." Or, "Happy birthday." Or, "That's hilarious." Or, "I can't wait to see you." Or, "Have fun." Or, "You're wonderful." The last two I actually lifted from Facebook just now. Don't they look more sincere without the exclamation mark?


Here's the other trouble. I'm trying to be humble while writing this but at the same time trying to figure out how to get people to read it without posting it on Facebook. I mean, is there any other thing in the world except frigging Facebook? I'm getting sick of it. No offense to anyone. But it's really kind of disgusting. All this self-absorption. 


I started this blog a few years ago. I had just quit drinking after eleven years of trying to be a social drinker. I had been sober twelve years before that. Well, I relapsed after a year and three quarters and drank for a year or so and now am sober again. (I almost capitalized "again". The same thing as an exclamation mark. Or is it point? I forget.) I'm sober for almost four months. I want to drink almost all the time. I go to meetings, I fantasize about killing myself and I also fantasize about moving far away and starting over again as a social drinker. I have an AA sponsor who is really nice but I feel guilty whenever I talk to her. I know it's not her fault, but I feel like she's judging me. I try and tell her sober stuff and she sort of goes, "Uh huh." Like she's waiting for me to tell her something better. But I don't have anything better. I'm just trying not to drink and I really, really want to drink. (Now I'm thinking that not using capitals and exclamation marks is sort of passive aggressive.)


There is absolutely no way anyone is going to find this blog unless I advertise it. I mean, there is simply too much stuff on the internet. It's absolutely amazing. And I'm so glad about it - I can look up anything I want. I'm tempted to create an avatar and start a new life. Like a role playing thing -I'm sure they have them. Trouble is that I think I would never stop. Let's see, I think I'd like a fantasy life on the internet as a lesbian, as a dude, I think that's all. I must be queer. I keep thinking that if I'm sober long enough or simply live long enough I'll find out I'm a lesbian. I am attracted to girls, I just don't want to have sex with them. For that matter, I don't really want to have sex with anyone. I'm kind of over it.


So that's all for now. I think good blogs are kind of short. It's asking a lot of people to read your crap in the first place. Well. Signing off. I hope I become famous one day (after I'm dead) and then this blog gets discovered and all my wisdom gets uncovered.


Signed,
Maura At Night